Love this funny post…i’m thinking of printing this list off and giving it to the neighbour next door who practically boards up his windows to keep away the kids on Halloween…


I know it’s premature to be talking about things I’m thankful for, but dammit, I’m glad the pagans hijacked Halloween back in the day.  Those earth-humping heathens really knew how to party.  Can you imagine what a shitty get-together it would’ve been if they hadn’t invented Halloween?  No free candy, no blood and guts, no panty-clad zombies…

Scratch me off the guest list.

Ok, maybe I’m confusing the facts, but one thing I know for sure is that every kid in the U.S. will be itchin’ to hit the streets this Halloween in their killer costumes in hot pursuit of free candy.  Halloween is the biggest, baddest holiday bash on the calendar for those little squirrels.  Don’t ruin it for them by being a douche bag.

Here’s a few tips to avoid a toilet paper job from the neighborhood kids:

 Turn your light on    

Unless you live…

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